FedEx Sux

Alright, so I ordered a laptop, and the supplier chose to ship FedEx, I chose Ground (because I’m cheap).

So, Thursday morning, before work, I check up on the tracking number, and the FedEx website says it was in L.A. at 11pm last night. It also says that delivery is scheduled for Friday, but I figure that based on where it actually is there’s plenty of time for it to arrive at my house before the end of the day. On my way out I leave a note on my door saying “Dear FedEx, please leave package with manager, she will sign.”

When I get home, I have a door tag, so the delivery man did not heed my note. Apparently there’s some sorta regulation that requires “whoever answers the door” to sign for the package.

I decide to call the 800 number, and ask them where my package is and where I can pick it up. Firstly, the computerized telephone system doesn’t recognize the door tag number. Fine, I say “operator” and am directed to an actual person. When I give her my door tag number she says it doesn’t exist. So, I yield my address and tracking number. And she replies that I can’t have a door tag because delivery wasn’t scheduled until Friday. So she only believe’s what the computer tells her, and I’m just making up the door tag number. I ask where is the package, and where can I pick it up. I get an address in Palmdale (100 miles away) and am assured that that place is open from 9am to 9pm. During the conversation I was informed that delivery was scheduled for Friday, and that I couldn’t have a door tag no less than 3 times. Apparently computer systems never lie.

Eager for my technology I decide to drive down to Palmdale and pick up the package myself. During the trip my odometer rolls over 66,666. I finally get to Palmdale and drive around for 45 minutes trying to find the place. It’s about 8:30 and I’m running out of time. When I finally do find it it turns out to be an unmarked wharehouse on a seldom-used road. Nobody’s there. It doesn’t even have a FedEx sign, making it difficult to locate.

Well, that was a wasted trip. I finish the journey at L.A. and stay at a friends house for the night. I fix his trouble with wireless ethernet connectivity in linux, and get a $50 parking violation because I didn’t know it was street cleaning day.

I finally get home on Friday afternoon, and there’s another door tag because I wasn’t there that morning. So I call up the 800 number again. This time they belive that I’m supposed to have a package, and they tell me to goto the local FedEx place to pick up the pagage, at 5pm. It turns out that FedEx Ground can’t leave packages at the local FedEx place because the local place is FedEx Express, and Groud is an independant contractor.

I pay my monthly bills and show up at 4pm with a book. The FedEx guy shows up around 5pm, and stays for about 15 minutes. You see, he shows up there to help people weren’t home to collect their package, but he only stays for 15 minutes and he’s not allowed to leave the packages. It turns out that this guy is FedEx Ground Business, and so he doesn’t have my package either. Instead I’m told to follow him across town.

So I follow him across town to this RV parking lot behind an auto-wrecking yard. About 100 people probably have the combination the gate to that yard, and the FedEx Ground Residential truck is parked right in the middle of the yard, <strong>open</strong>. (So much for security) The Business delivery guy gets out of his truck rummages around the other truck, finds my package and has me sign. I sign an X (because I don’t do electronic signature) and he never even asks for ID (I could’ve stolen the door tag from my door, for all he knew).

Finally, though, I have my new toy. It only costs a day of my life, a tank of gas, several near collisions in the streets of L.A. and a $50 parking violation. It was an interesting adventure.

Beauracratically, I’m certain that the FedEx Ground can’t leave their packages at the local FedEx place (which doesn’t give out a phone number) because of the liability issues with independant contractors. But, seriously people, not only would it be more convenient but also more secure. FedEx apparently does not care much about their customers or the packages, and I’m never going to volunarily deal with a supplier who uses FedEx ever again.